Ranch Yarns 2022

New Year, Same Ol Shift

“Hey Pal. What’s new?”

“Well, Kid, a nuther year’s rolled aroun.”

“Yep. 2022. An here we are. Uh, Pal, why are we here?”

“Ta make folks smile, Kid. Sometimes even make em think.”

“I know that. But we ride fer Carrot Ranch. Why’s our page a yarns at ShiftnShake?”

“Reckon cuz D. Avery still claims ta be our writer an this here’s her spread.”

“So this’s like the yarn barn?”

“Reckon.”

“But we’re still free range? Still rope the prompts Shorty turns out?”

“Yep.”

“An we manage the Saddle Up Saloon.”

“Yep.”

“So nuthin much new…”

“Write on Kid.”

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“Pal, one thing new an difrent’s been this long break from the Ranch.”

“Yep, Shorty’s had some tough wranglin ta do at Headquarters.”

“But you been watchin over Carrot Ranch.”

“Yep, keepin an eye on the stock.”

“The cattle?”

“No, the stock behin the bar at the Saloon. Was there sippin an thinkin when a fella comes in wearin a mask, which I ‘preciated. But then he says ta hand over all the bit coin.”

Nanjo!  

“Yep. Didn need im ta be unmasked ta know his true iden’ity.”

“In 2022 bein unmasked sure reveals somethin bout ya.”

“Yep.”

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Back At It

“Kid!”
“Shush, Pal, I seen it.”
“So, git up, git ready. We’ll have some wrangling ta do come Monday.”
“I am gittin ready. I’m busy hibernatin. I’m gone dormant, like how the Poet Tree sheds its leaves an gits all quiet like, ruminatin unner ground at its roots.”
“Hmm. Reckon the Ranch is gittin back ta its roots fer a while too.”
“Yep. Ta everthin there’s a season. Jist now it’s winter, an I’m content.”
“Kid! Yer growin up.”
“Reckon so Pal. Found fertile soil at this here Ranch an commenced ta sproutin.”
“99 words at a time.”
“Yep.”

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CRLC February 2, 2022 The Wish They Made

These Wishers Ride Hosses

“A hiatus!”
“Whoa Kid, thet’s a mighty strong word. Asides, how kin ya hate us? Ain’tcha glad we’re back ridin the range tagether?”
“I don’t hate us, Pal. Hiatus— we’re still on break.”
“No we ain’t Kid. Jist back ta basics fer a while.”
“Well, I don’t like change, Pal.”
“Nuthin much’s changed cept the day a Shorty’s postins. I’m cited bout jist enjoyin the Ranch an the ranch hands, 99words at a time. Kinda like a wish I made come true.”
“Yer wishin us outta a job!”
“They’s plenny ta do, Kid.”
“Hmmph.”
“Wish ya’d quit yer whinin.”

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“Hmmph. Changes. One thing ain’t changed is Pal’s whinin bout me whinin. Well I’m jist gonna ride solo fer this one, ain’t ready ta git back with that bossy yahoo. Were still on hiatus, an Pal’s still ridin a high horse.

It sure was nice havin that time away. Away from Pal, away from our writer. I did miss Shorty an the other ranch hans, but it was good ta fill my well if’n ya know what I mean.”

“Kin lead Kid ta the well, cain’t make Kid think!”

“Pal! Wish ya’d jist leave me be fer a change.”

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“Ya might wanna rethink thet wish Kid.”

“Why?”

“Look’t where ya are, Kid.”

“Oh. Uh. It’s a little spooky. Where am I Pal?”

“Ya done harumffed yersef ta the deep end a the Ranch.”

“It’s wooded, with mushrooms an moss.”

“Yep, an they’s hidden springs an caves. There be mystical magical critters in these parts. It’s a place where spoken wishes kin come true.”

“S’pose this is where all them uni-corns hang out.”

“Reckon so. Jist think careful on what ya wish fer Kid.”

“I wish we was back storytellin at Carrot Ranch, 99 words at a time.”

*POOF!*

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“Whoa… Pal, we’re back at the Ranch.”

“In fron a Shorty’s chuck wagon. Kid, member when ya was always wishin fer Shorty ta serve up bacon?”

“That was afore Curly. Was wishin fer a dog, ended up with a hog, an now I’m sworn off a bacon.”

“Thet’s quite a sacrifice Kid.”

“You’ve sacrificed too Pal. Used ta wish I’d go away. Then t’day ya followed me ta the deep ends a the Ranch ta keep me from harm.”

“I wish ya’d keep outta trouble Kid.”

“Ya don’t neither. Ya need me.”

“S’pose. Yer the problem in my story.”

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