Ranch Yarns 2020

Happy New Year! Kid and Pal, et al. have rung up over two hundred yarns since they first showed up in May of 2017. So I have opened up a new page to accommodate them. I will go back to making us all scroll down to the bottom for the latest, so that you can easily read in sequence the happenings at Carrot Ranch as interpreted by these intrepid stock characters. 

be bold (july)

2020 Visions

“Kid, I had a good year. Was put through ma paces by you, but had some good times with Ornery, an’ heck, even told some stories an’ writ some buckaroo-ku!”

“Well, Pal, Shorty done so much this year; I reckon we kinda live vigorously through her, bein’ fictional ranch hands an’ all.”

“Think the word’s vicariously, Kid.”

“Yeah, vaquero-us-ly, that makes sense.”

“It sure was excitin’ when Carrot Ranch got headquartered. I still say, despite some a yer shenanigans, this here’s one fine oufit, an’ I’m happy ta stay on another year.”

“We ain’t here fer the pay, Pal.”

***

“I had a rough year. Accident’ly indangered the ranch by attractin’ unsavory characters an’ by encouragin’ Ornery an’ Pepe ta distill beans…”

“Dat still stings me too Keed.”

“Hey, Pepe. Yeah, seems all I did was argue with D. Avery or git the whole ranch riled up ‘cause a me; ever’one havin’ ta hep me outta the Poet Tree, or search fer me when ma think tank fell on me. I jist wanna hep, an’ all my ideas turn out flawed.”

“Don’t worry Kid, Shorty likes flawed characters. And you and I’ll work things out.”

“D. Avery?”

“Howdy, Yahoos.”

***

“Set by our fire, D., tell us ‘bout yer year.”

“Your fire’s burning bright. I had some successes this year, was more published and public, though I didn’t get very far with my very public resolution I made at the Ranch last January. Guess I’ll just recycle that plan. But I’m thinking you two are going to be more active this year.”

“Vigorous, like?”

“Busy. Read between the lines. I think Shorty’s going to use you soon as she figures out how.”

“Awesome! Should we give up our day jobs?”

“Kid, doin’ fer Carrot Ranch is yer day job.”

***

“I just wanted to tell you, Pal and Kid, that I’m all for whatever Shorty wants you to do. And I want you to know that of any of my writing, I enjoy you the most. You are seriously silly, and I like how you keep track of Ranch happenings. You both have stepped up when needed and even tried your hand at writing. You’ve really come along.”

“I been here all along, remember? But, jeez, are ya sayin’ goodbye?”

“No! Pal, I’m saying hello to a new year. You two have 2020 visions. I see you going places.”

***

“So you’ll have a whole new page of just 2020 Yarns. And maybe more front-page time, even though I still worry an off-Ranch audience isn’t ready to read you.”

“Kin we git Kid and Pal figurines made up?”

“Figures you’d start getting ideas, but I don’t think you’re ready for that yet Kid. You’re still just a legend in my own mind.”

“Kin ya organize our buckaroo-ku somehow?”

“Sure Kid.”

“Drive us aroun’?”

“Sure Kid.”

“Ya gonna have ta give up yer day job ta keep up with us, D. Avery?”

“Ha! I already did! I’m free come July!”

***

Broken Hearted

“Excusez-moi. Do you forget about me?”

“Oh, Pepe…”

“I weel go on your adventures too, no? Take da stage, pack da house?”

“Uh, well, Pepe, might be best if ya stay behind, like way behind. With yer particular talent ya’ve been known ta upstage others an’ clear a house.”

“Dees stinks! I have bean loyal frien’. You weel miss me. You weel need me an’ my bi-lingual ways at de border crossings. You weel regret leaving me behind. Anyway, you know I weel sleep out when you least expect. You weel hear my name on every wind that blows.”

CRLC January 2 Challenge “Hutch”

“Pal, ya ever git skeered we could git replaced?”

“Us? Heck no, Kid, we’re iconic. Stock character Ranch hands, dang good at what we do.”

“Yeah, but, seems like there ain’t a position these days ain’t dispensible. I know Pepe’s worried ‘bout automation at Buckaroo Nation.”

“Whut?”

“You know he slips inta Headquarters now and agin. He found out Shorty’s frien’s got a fartin’ machine. Kin ya believe it?”

“Cain’t believe it could keep up with Pepe.”

“One time they was talkin’ spreadsheets, ‘member?”

“An’ you kept shovelin’ an’ spreadin’ an’ scatterin’ shift like farfennugens. Kid, jist hutch up.”

 

CRLC January 9th Challenge “Wife Carrying”

The Matter of Loggatha LeGume
My Beanie lies over the mountain, my Beanie lies over the plains…”
“Pepe Legume. Why ya singin’ sech a sad song?”
“‘Ello Pal, ‘Ello Keed. I am apart from my wife.”
“You have a wife?”
“Oui. Mon cher, mon petite Beanie. But her given name is Loggatha.”
“Well, where is Loggatha, why ain’t ya tagether?”
“Dere ees many times, many places when she cannot go where I can. Often she ees detained. Sigh. She ees warm and soft, dat one, but a solid partner, my better half. She carries me! But you know, dere’s a leetle Loggatha in everyone.”

****

Seeing the Finnish Line

“Kid, you bin kinda scarce.”

“What diff’rence it make Pal? Ain’t much we kin do with this prompt. We won’t be carryin’ on with this challenge.”

“Why not? I kin carry ya. Or you kin carry me. Jist so’s we git the job done.”

“This roundup is purty specific— wife carryin’. Ain’t neither one of us no kinda a spouse ta no one.”

“Kid, ain’tcha never heard a “work spouses”? Thet one person ya kin rely on an’ confide in at yer job?”

“The one who’s got yer back an’ you got theirs?”

“Yep.”

“We kin take turns Pal.”

 

CRLC January 16 Challenge “Protest”

“Jeez, Pal. Tellin’ ya, Shorty’s all over the map with her prompts. Now a protest story? I cain’t write a protest story.”

“Thinkin’ ya protest too much, Kid. Ever dang week yer protestin’, or is thet jist whinin’? This here could be serious ya know. Stop yer whinin’ an’ complainin’ an consider the plight a them’s thet really git the short end a the rope.”

“Reckin I kin try, Pal, but I ain’t got Shorty’s machinations.”

“Do ya mean ‘magination? It’s a difference ‘tween seemin’ and schemin’.”

“Guess as long as she does the write thing it’s all good.”

***

Once upon a time Princess Buckaroo lived on a enchanted snow-globe peninsula.

“Writin’ after all Kid?”

“Yep.”

One day all the Yooper Scoopers quit shov’lin an’ plowin’. They marched on snowshoes, holdin’ their shovels up like signs, protestin’ ‘gainst low wages an’ high accumulations a snow.

Princess Buckaroo retreated ta another story.

“Lit out fer another tale?”

“No, she went upstairs when the first story got snowed over.”

Snow kep fallin’. The Buckaroo Princess got out on snowshoes as ever’thin’ got buried over.

“What happened?!”

The Buckaroo Princess was at new heights; snowshoed right ta her north star.

 

Rallying

“What d’we want?! 99 words! When d’we want ‘em?! Ev’ry week!”

“Kid, what’re ya doin’?”

“Rallyin’ fer a world wide writin’ community!”

“Kid, thet’s this here Carrot Ranch Literary Community an’ folks git served 99 words and prompts ever week. Ya got no reason ta protest. Things is as good as kin be imagined here at the Ranch. We exercise our right to write, sometimes write to right wrongs.”

“Don’t ya wanna protest fer higher PAY, PAL?”

“We’ll keep up with the upkeep Kid. Givin’ my wages ta Australia.”

“Yes! To the S.M.A.G. button.”

“I kin rally behind thet.”

 

CRLC January 23 Challenge “Bench”

“Dang. This prompt looks ta be a workout, Pal. Not sure I kin bench press 99 words.”

“Here’s Kid with the weekly whine. Speakin’ a beer, did ya see thet Shorty’s still visionin’?”

“Yep, she’s real big on vision questin’ an’ goal settin’. Got a positive outlook fer the future.”

“No, I mean Visions. She’s got a window looks out inta the past.”

“Does the Ranch have a window like that?”

“Window’s wide open. Folks kin reflect an’ let their ‘maginations run free range here.”

“Should shut that window. Ya never know what kinda characters might come through.”

“Hmmff.”

***

“Well, jeez, Pal. Last week it was hands in the air, standin’ up protestin’, now this week it’s ‘bout settin’ down on a bench. Ya ever even seen a bench aroun’ here? I’ll set alright. Gonna set this one out.”

“So where ya headed, Kid?”

“Might’s well set in the Poet Tree.”

“Yer navel’s hardly a window on the world, Kid, but sure, go up yer tree an’ contemplate.”

 

                        history’s imprint

                        heavy stories come to light

                        bench pressing 99

                        lifting portal lids, mirrors

                        giving apparitions form

 

“Ya didn’t really follow the prompt Kid.”

“I went where it led, Pal.”

 

CRLC January 30 Challenge “postal carriers”

Special Delivery

“Frankie! Dang! Cain’t believe ya ventured through this blizzard.”
“Had to. There’s letters for Carrot Ranch.”
“Can we git ya anythin’ Frankie?”

“Yes, Kid, get me a glass so I can keep an eye out. I’m eyein’ that glass a whiskey too, Pal. Ah, thanks. Now. How ‘bout you read them letters I delivered?”
“This un’s from thet reliable Ranch hand Susan Sleggs. It’s ta ever’one at the Ranch:

Dearest Ranch Hands,
            I look forward to your stories. Lots of times you make me laugh and there        is always some excitement added, or thought to ponder. You’ve also   shown me how to accomplish meeting the prompt’s expectations,       especially during the Rodeo. You’ve helped me improve as a fellow           “hand.”
            Thanks for letting me ride with you.
            Susan Sleggs

Thank you for showin’ others how Ranch writin’ works.

Whoa. That’s purty heartfelt. Kid, you read this ‘un. Looks ta be a poem by the Poet Lariat.”

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Adore all the Hands at the Ranch
That one ‘hudret’ percent true
(Though mine own self I like alot –
Some days the prompts
Put me in a spot…)

We’re all seekin the right combination
To keep our friends attentions
Sharpen’ our pencils
Making sure our pens have ink
‘Specially when we choose
To challenge ourselves
Every week to the edge, the brink

Of what we think are limitations
Of our imaginations…
Keeping our learning sharp
Accepting all for their worth
Because characters matter
As we pursue and fine tune
The Literary Arts!

-The Poet Lariat (©JP/dh )

“Don’t thet jist sum it up?”

“Frankie ain’t the only one kin deliver.”

Q & A

“Does Pepe Legume use his scent as a weapon?”  (Susan Sleggs)

 

Dear Meez Suzan,

Eet ees I, Monsieur LeGume. I use your question to remin’ one an’ all dat dees ees a very safe place, dees Ranch, dees Buckaroo Nation, so no, dees scent for wheech I am known, eet ees my supar power, but ees not ever a weapon. While day say dat de best defence is a strong offence, I believe in de free range principles of dees Ranch, derefore, no fence. Where I come from we say ‘better a stinker dan a sinker’ an’ ‘just wait, eet weel dissipate’.

Suzan, weapons stink up de world. Try love.

 

CRLC February 6 Challenge “dog in the daisies”

 

Mail Call

“Thet Frankie agin? Frankie, poor ol’ Burt’s burdened with some bulging mailbags.”

“Pal. Kid. It ain’t Burt that’s burdened, it’s Shorty. This mail is all fer her. Condolences.”

“Well, here, Frankie, we’ll lighten Burt’s load an’ git these cards ta Shorty, try an’ lighten hers. Kid, lend a hand. Kid?”

“Think Kid just went up the Poet Tree, Pal. This does getcha, doesn’t it? I been thinkin’ on Shorty’s dog, thinkin’ ‘bout Burt— been dabbin’ at my eye all day.”

“Grievin’ are ya?””

“Tears a joy, Pal. I only got one eye, can’t do both; chose joy over grief.”

 

Not Bobo’s No-no

“LeGume! What’re you doin’ here?”

“You steel don’ like me Pal. Accept dat I am a character who lives here too. An’ jes now I am feeling ver’ bad.”

“We all are. Feelin’ bad fer Shorty an’ her fam’ly. ‘Memberin’ our own losses.”

“I am feeling remorse an’ regret. You see… I was at World Head Quarters. Last summer. I met Bobo, a lovely creature.”

“Yeah, so? Why regret?”

“I blamed dat dog for something dat I deed.”

“That stinks.”

“Eet deed, an’ I let dem tink eet was Bobo.”

“Jest let it go.”

“Oops. I just deed. Again.”

 

Taking Care

“Frankie, I cain’t git Kid ta climb down outta thet tree.”

“I’ll try, Pal. Hey, Kid? I was over at the cookhouse. Would you like some bacon?”

“Would I?!”

“Wood eye? No it’s glass. Now come on down an’ git some breakfast then git ta chores. Shorty needs you.”

“Sorry, Frankie, it’s jest that I got ta thinkin’ on my good dog. May she rest.”

“Well then you know what a time Shorty’s havin’ right now. Pepe has gone back ta Head Quarters, but you an’ Pal gotta ride the range.”

“Keep an eye on things?”

“Very funny, Kid.

 

CRLC February 13 Challenge “sugar report” 

Frankie Rides. Again

“Thanks agin fer the sugar cubes Kid. It’s got Burt eatin’ right outta my hand.”

“Reckon it’s another busy week fer you an’ Burt, ‘ey Frankie?”

“What d’ya mean, Kid?”

“Deliverin’ mail. Last week all them condolence cards, this week Valentines an’ love letters— sugar reports as she says.”

“Kid, I reckon those condolence cards and notes was letters a love too. Funny thing about mail. It’s all jest somethin’ in a envelope, ya jest don’t know; could be sugar, could be salt, looks the same. An’ some a this week’s sugar reports are sure ta be bittersweet.”

“Yep.”

 

CRLC February 20 Challenge “library cat situation”

Do Ya Like Ma Hat?

“Kid, why’s thet ten gallon hat ya got fer yer half-pint head skiddin’ towards the door?”

“Why, there’s a cat in the hat! Must be from the library.”

“Ya picked up The Cat In the Hat at the library?”

“Took ma hat off when I was there, musta put it over their Rainbow.”

“An’ accidently kept the library cat under yer hat the whole way home? Thet’s an unlikely situation Kid.”

“It’s ma story an’ I’m stickin’ with it, Pal.”

“I kin tell ya what happens next. Yer takin’ thet cat back!”

“Or… we keep it!”

“Go, Kid. Go.”

 

CRLC February 27 Challenge “open road”

Bearin’s

“Ever feel like hittin’ the road Pal?”

“Heck no, Kid. Look’t thet road in the picture. Hmmff. Looks as if it leads straight ta nowhere.”

“It’s straight like that so ya cain’t go ‘round the bend. I’m worried ‘bout Shorty. ‘Fraid she’s losin’ her bearin’s.”

“Jist her wheel bearin’s Kid. She’s on the road ta her North Star. Shorty’s picked the right path. She’ll find her way through storms a distraction.”

“S’pose so, Pal. Was about this time a year I got cabin fever so bad I took ta the road. Ended up here.”

“Still findin’ yer way, Kid.”

 

Shifty Move

“Look who’s here on her appointed rounds! Frankie!”

“No matter the weather, still have to deliver. Got a package for you Kid. What is it?”

“I had D. Avery send me the ultimate tome on open roads, so’s I could study up fer this week’s prompt. Look! Chicken Shift.”

“Well, all I can tell you Kid, is that little book is heavy. But also light. But not middling.”

“Depends on how ya read it, Frankie. But yeah, there’s some deep shift.”

“Hmmff. Kinda turned inta a road show, Kid. Mighta crossed a line.”

“Road, Pal. It’s about road crossin’s.”

 

CRLC March 4th Open Road roundup comments

Undeliverance

“Frankie, whut’s thet thet ol’ Burt’s achompin’ on? Looks ta be some-un’s writin’.”

“Oh, no! Not again. Burt, you can’t be eatin’ the dang mail!”

“Mebbe it was food fer thought. Look’s ta a been writ by Doug J… thet’s all I kin make out from whut’s left. Frankie, if yer hoss keeps eatin’ the mail, you could git fired.”

“I doubt that Pal, it’s a government job. But I might get promoted. I’d sure miss bein’ out on the road, deliverin’ and visitin’ with everyone on my route.”

“Then you best keep an eye on yer hoss.”

“Aye.”

***

“Pepe LeGume. Back from World Head Quarters, I see.”

“Yes, eet is I. I got wind of a problem here at de Ranch. Dees situation weeth de old horse eating Doug’s stories, eet stinks, no?”

“Ya kin say thet again.”

“Okay, eef you weesh. Dees situation weet de old horse eating Doug’s stories, eet stinks, no?”

“Yes, it stinks, Pepe. Got a solution?”

“Me? Oh, no. Dees ees a problem for de boss. I am just here to help folks air deir greivances. Thees weel pass. As my dear Logatha says, theengs have a way of working out.”

 

CRLC March 5  Challenge “Clarice”

A Horse of a Different Color (and gender and dietary preferences and gait and name)

“Hmmph. I delare!”

“Clarify?”

“Clarice! We have ta write about Clarice?!”

“Clearly, Kid.”

“Concisely!”

“Think ya mean ‘precisely’.”

“Z’actly. 99 words. No more, no less.”

“Thet heps with clarity, don’tcha think, Kid?”

“Not clarity. Clarice! I need hep with this Clarice prompt.”

“Here’s Frankie’s with the mail. Frankie, where’s ol’ Burt?

“He’s on furlough. Because of eatin’ up Doug’s flash.”

“Oh, yeah. Well, this un’s a fine lookin’ filly. But why’re you sportin’ a eye-patch today?”

“This filly’s got a rough gait, Pal. Bounced me so hard, I had trouble keepin’ my eye off the road. Dang Clarice.”

“Clarice!”

Lookin’ Good

“Ain’t likin’ this, Kid, it’s breakin’ with ma routine, makin’ me feel real outa place cuz we ain’t never been nowhere’s but Carrot Ranch or ShiftnShake.”

“Frankie done lost her glass eye ridin’ Clarice- dang hoss’s gotta gait like a jack hammer- an’ I reckon they mighta been by this way. We gotta hep her, Pal, she’s only got the one visualin’ eye; this other’s jist fer looks.

“An’ we’ll look good fer Frankie, but why’re we trackin’ through Fandango’s site too, what’s searchin’ fer Frankie’s eye got ta do with his One Word Challenge?”

“Word’s ‘visual-eyes’.”

“I see.”

***

Eyes On the Prize

“Tellin’ ya, Kid, we’re strayin’ too far from the Ranch. First bouncin’ through Fandango’s OWC… now where we at?”

“We cain’t give up, Pal. We gotta find Frankie’s missin’ glass eye. Mebbe the folks over here at Friday Fictioneers has seen it.”

“Kin ya see me rollin’ ma eyes? I jist wanna go home. On the range. Where the buckaroos play. Look, Kid, we’re the only ones ridin’ hosses. This place ain’t fer us.”

“Then why’s there a waterin’ trough? Let’s lead the hosses ta water, set an’ think.”

“Kid, look! Frankie’s eye’s in the trough!”

“Things is lookin’ up.”

***

“Okay, got it, so now kin we head back ta Carrot Ranch, git this eyeball back ta Frankie, an’ jist git back ta our normal routines, chores an’ sech?”

“You betcha, Pal, we’ll even take a shortcut, go by way of Crimson’s Creative Challenge.”

“Kid what’s her eye color, cuz somethin’ ‘bout this here eyeball don’t look right.”

“Oh, yeah, the eye color a this ocular prosthetic seems a shade off.”

“Oh shift, dang thing slipped outta ma hand, bounced inta thet concrete crevice.”

“Dang, it’s sure gonna be hard lookin’ Frankie in the eye an’ ‘splainin’ what happened.”

***

“Well Pal, back at the Ranch, finally. Cain’t believe we went all that way, keepin’ an eye out fer Frankie’s missin’ eye then lettin’ it roll down the drain.”

“I cain’t believe yer gonna make me be the one ta tell her. There she is now, saddlin’ up Burt. It’s thet dang fickle filly Clarice what caused all this ruckus in the first place. Dang hoss walks like a four-legged pogo stick.”

“Frankie. You got yer glass eye in. Thought it was lost somewheres.”

“Looks like I found it. Where you two been? You’re a sight for sore eyes.”

 

CRLC March 12 Challenge “tap”

Tapped Out

“Here comes Kid’s weekly whine, kin jist tell, the way yer tappin’ an’ huffin’.”

“Cain’t stand it, Pal. ‘D. Avery entertains Carrot Ranchers’?! Really? D’ya see D. Avery aroun’ here?”

“Done told ya, Kid, thet’s jist the way it is. Yer. A. Fiction. All. Character.”

“But I identify as real, Pal.”

“Why’re ya so het up on bein’ real Kid? Seems overrated ta me. Them folks got some real problems. Wrestle with yer ego by yersef, ya sap. I’m tappin’ out.”

“Where ya goin’?”

“Don’t really matter.”

“Does too!”

“Gonna tap the Poet Tree, try’n drum out some words.”

***

“Pal! Didn’t expect ta see you at the Poet Tree.”

“Had ta git outta the bunkhouse Shorty.”

“Kid gittin’ to ya?”

“Yep, an’ as I was goin’ out, LeGume was goin’ in. Thet’s two good reasons ta come out here.”

“Bunkhouse windows are fogged up. Those two boilin’ sap?”

“Wish thet were the case, Shorty. It’s LeGume a course. In there jist a’tappin’ out his tunes. I ain’t never got what ya see in thet Pepe LeGume.”

“Pal, Pepe’s a fine travelin’ companion.

            passing through

            trav’lin’ tagether

            pilgrims’ road”

“Whut Pepe passes lingers, Shorty.”

“But it’ll pass. Ever’thin’ does.”

***

Keepin’ It T’Gether

“Kid! We ain’t out on some dusty roundup. Git thet bandana off a yer face. I git our whole western mo-teef but ya shouldn’t be ‘round the Ranch lookin’ like a bank robber.”

“Ain’tcha heard nuthin’ Pal? Thought we was s’posed ta wear masks.”

“Not here on the Ranch Kid. Ya’ll skeer folks.”

“Mebbe I’m skeered, Pal.”

“I git thet Kid, but ‘member, this here’s a safe place, like always. Jist be cautious.”

“’Bout germs?”

“No. Well, yeah, but more ’bout inframation. Only take in an’ only spread what’s helpful and fact based. No matter who mighta said whut.”

####

“Jist scientific facts?”

“No alternatives.”

“I’m still skeered Pal.”

“That’s okay Kid. An’ since ya done wiped yer eyes with thet bandana, jist keep thet to yersef.”

“The fact that I cried?”

“Cryin’s okay, Kid. But keep thet bandana to yersef. Wash it an’ wash yer hands. Plain ol’ soap will do. Kid, you an’ me’re used ta bein’ on our own, but folks gotta realize it’s physical isolation bein’ asked fer, ever’one keepin’ a distance. But with all kinda devices available we kin still reach out, be social. What the Ranch has always done, world-wide.”

“Write on?”

“Write!”

All Normal, See?

“Pal, you’re back from yer time at the Poet Tree. Got some lines that rhyme? Ya been out there fer four days.”

“Seems longer, mebbe ‘cause a spendin’ some time with you, tellin’ ya ta jist keep it t’gether. I ain’t come up with a poem, Kid, but I gotta plan fer us.”

“Plans is hopeful. What’re we ta do? Gather up supplies? Stay put? Keep our distance?”

“Shush Kid. We’ll do the z’act opposite. ‘Cause Ranch plans ain’t changed. So we’ll take advantage a our fictional status an jist keep ta our chores here. No more, no less.”

***

“Uh, Pal, what’re my chores again?”

“Jist shovel shift, Kid. Hope folks find ya more amusin’ than annoyin’. Figger folks got enough ta worry ‘bout. At the Ranch they kin come close, enjoy a tale or two ‘roun the fire. Yer ta stop yer whinin’. ’Member this is a refuge fer the real folks thet come by. They kin say what they gotta say, but all us fictional folks is jist gonna injoy our normalcy.”

“I see. Too bad.”

“Why’s thet?”

“I got a fictional six-pack a purell fer Frankie an’ a case a tp for Pepe.”

“No shift?”

Ta Hex With It March 18

CRLC March 19 Challenge “rabbit on the roof”

Smokin’ Caterpllars

“Kid, yer grinnin’. Figgered ya’d be scowlin’ over this wild prompt.”
“Didn’t ya hear? Shorty’s gotta surprise comin’.”
“What is it?”
“Dunno, jist that it’s a surprise fer me an’ you.”
“Huh. Prob’ly hookin’ the bunkhouse up with television. It’s rabbit ears she’s on about!”
“That’s receptive of ya, Pal, but I don’t think so.”
“Then what the heck is up with a rabbit on the roof?”
“Mebbe thet hare went over the rooftop ta see what it could see. It’s a unique rabbit. Ya know how ta catch a unique rabbit, Pal?”
“No.”
“Ya ’neak up behind it.”

###

“Smokin’ caterpillars? Thet better be a litter-airy ref’rence. An’ look at us, comin’ in behind thet dang D. Avery. Kid, what the heck is goin’ on?”
“Jist chasin’ rabbits, I s’pose, Pal. Been kinda hard ta focus lately. An’ now I’m jist so excited ‘bout Shorty’s su’prise. Cain’t wait. Mebbe after the weekend we’ll see it.”
“Hmmf. Yer chasin’ rabbits alright. D. Avery know anythin’ ‘bout this su’prise?”
“Cain’t say Pal, not knowin’. We kinda drifted apart, disassociated, like. All I know is Shorty said it’s bigger’n a bread box, an’ it’s fer us ta take care of.”
“Dadnabbit!”

 

Saddle Up Saloon; Bar None CRLC March 23

 

CRLC March 26   Challenge”in charge”

 

 Kid’s Dilemma

“Pal, whut’s Shorty done charged us with this time?”

“Charged us with? Why, nuthin’ Kid.”

“Nuthin’? That prompt’s gotta lead ta sumthin’. Always does.”

“Yep.”

“An’ asides that, ain’t we in charge a the Saloon?”

“Could say thet, I s’pose.”

“An’ we still gotta discharge our reg’lar ranch duties.”

“Yep. Purty sure there’s discharge in the barn fer ya ta shovel now, Kid.”

“Bullshift, Pal, why’s it always seem like yer in charge a me?”

“I jist take yer bull by the horns is all.”

“Mebbe I’ll grab them horns. Take charge a ma own self.”

“Yep. Mebbe, Kid.”

 

Tootin’ Rootin’ Round Trip

“Lookin’ rough, Kid. Where ya been, anyway?”

“Checked out Slim Chance’s outfit.”

“Why ever for?!”

“Took charge a m’sef. Yer always bossin’ me aroun’. Shorty’s s’posed ta be in charge, but she’s always nice, jist says ‘go where the prompt leads’; well Slim Chance tells folks where ta go an’ how ta git there.”

“Git where?”

“Where he wants ‘em ta go.”

“Real take charge sorta guy?”

“Sure ‘nough. Says, ‘Drink this kool-aid, it’s the best’, where’s Shorty jist has carrots out, fer folks ta take or not.”

“Yer back though?”

“Ferever. Ta re-charge on root crops.”

“Carrots?”

“Yep.”