
Launched by D. Avery
I’d always loved boats. So when this guy Gray hired me to run his tender with him, ferrying people between their moored liveaboards and yachts to the docks, I was thrilled. I passed his test, I guess, talked with him about boats, showed him I could tie a couple useful knots, that was it.
Usually the most dangerous part of the job was sunburn, but there were days when the weather would turn fast, the placid harbor becoming windswept chop. On one such day, our craft plunging wildly, I suddenly was launched into the waves, no longer in the tender.
“Gray! I—”
“Swim!”
Undisturbed by my wailing and flailing, the storm raged on, and I was swallowed whole by the swells. I was sinking and would surely drown, but then Gray grabbed me and hoisted me aboard.
“You can’t swim?!”
Now he asks.
I puzzled together this 144 word story for d’Verse, the pub for poets, where Lisa is hosting today’s Prosery. The challenge is to write a piece of prose of no more than 144 words that incorporates the given set of words in exactly the order given, but may be broken up with punctuation. Today we are to use the line “In the tender gray, I swim undisturbed“, by Celia Dropkin, from, “In Sullivan County”.
hahahahaha!
When I saw the word (name) Gray in the opening line, I looked around…. But NO, you work it in so much later (and in such a unique manner)… And then those las 3 words!!!
WOWZA
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Thanks. It was a fun puzzle.
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Oh, wow! You really worked that line in very subtly. I had to search to find it! Well done. Great story.
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Thank you.
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You are welcome!
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D, you deconstructed it and put it back together in such a creative way. I know she almost died, but I still smiled at the final line.
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Next time maybe she’ll wear a pfd.
Thank you for the challenging prompt. I had fun puzzling this together.
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Yeppers on the pfd. You’re welcome and glad you found it a challenge, D.
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Such especially nice humor
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You snuck that line in brilliantly! You write action very well! 👏👏
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That poor line got all the poetics chopped out of it in this one. Thank you!
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💓
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Such a creative use of the quote and a fun tale. Love the voice you create in this piece.
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Thanks!
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🙂
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Very well written D.
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Thank you. It’s a little different wrapping a flash around given words but I enjoyed the challenge.
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It is difficult and sometimes sounds contrived but not in this case. 👌🏼
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That’s music to my ears, Sadje. Thanks.
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You’re welcome
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Clever, as usual. I, too, loved your subtle placing. It made for poetic lines.
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This was a fun challenge. I have been abstinent from the Pub for way too long so was glad a story came through for this prompt.
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I had to reread a couple of times to find the line. Very clever the way you broke it up and used the individual words as part of your story, not the image that belongs to the poet.
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I apologize to the poet and her poem, for this is far away from her beautiful imagery. Anything for a story.
Thank you for coming by!
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I admit, I didn’t read the poem the line came from. It wouldn’t have helped the process of writing a piece of prose anyway xxx
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No, reading it can get in the way. One has to be dispassionate about the line, see it as parts to be utilised and repurposed.
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Exactly. I think the only lines that work intact are very ‘prosaic’ lines. Poetry is poetry and we don’t actually speak in poetry or even think in it.
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So clever the way you broke up the line! Excellent! And a complete story, too.
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Thank you. It was a fun challenge and it sure is good to step into the Pub again.
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You’re welcome!
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So cleverly included, that line. And as often happens with your stories, I ended it smiling. (K)
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Yay! Glad to have left you with a smile.
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A brilliant use of the prompt. Your storytelling skills are enviable and never disappoint. ❤
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You are too kind. Thank you for it!
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LOL!!!😁
NICE ONE
Thanks for dropping by my blog.
much💜love
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Thank you. Glad to make you laugh.
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Wow!! Brilliant use of the line. 🙂
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Thanks. It’s no longer a line but it got the job done.
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That’s true. 🙂
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What a clever breakage of the line. The story was very engaging!
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Thank you. I’m glad the flash worked.
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Stellar use of the lines, and that final line is just perfect.
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Thanks!
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Such an inventive piece of writing well done 🙂
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Thank you. Your comments are appreciated.
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Mind. Blown! You aced this prompt, your imagination is superb. Thanks for this treat, D.
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Ha! Thanks. The word tender has many meanings, can be adjective, verb, or noun so I determined to (finally) participate at the Pub, one way or another.
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