#99Word Stories; Lie

The November 7, 2022 story challenge from Charli Mills at Carrot Ranch is to In 99 words (no more, no less), write a story that includes a lie. What is the lie? It can be subtle or blatant. Who tells the lie and why? Is it an unreliable narrator? Go where the prompt leads! Submit at Carrot Ranch by November 19, 2022.

After writing this story in my head I finally typed it out and it came to 141 words, which I have included here. Then I pared it down to 99 words for submission at Carrot Ranch. Which do you prefer?

Younger Cousin (141) by D. Avery

The first lie was mine, on that long ago night. ‘It’ll be fun.’ 

We lied about her age to get in. We’d agreed to stick together but the crowd swallowed us up and we were separated. I was worried sick about her and when I finally found her, I was sick. Then she tended to me! Said it was okay, said everything would be alright.

She never would talk about what happened. She started living her life as if it didn’t matter, said she was in control. Said I could mind my own business, she was a good mom to her kids, each with a different father and not one dad. When she started using she said she could handle it.

‘Please,’ I begged, ‘Stop.’

‘Why?’ she asked.

‘Because I love you.’

‘You’re a liar,’ she said. ‘You never loved me.’


Younger Cousin (99) by D. Avery

The first lie was mine. ‘It’ll be fun.’ 

We lied about her age to get in. The crowd swallowed us up and we were separated. I was worried sick about her and when I finally found her, I was sick. She said she was okay, said she’d be alright.

She started living life as if it didn’t matter. Said she was in control. Said I could mind my own business, she was a good mom. When she started using heroin, she said she could handle it.

‘Stop,’ I begged.

“Why?’

‘Because I love you.’

‘You’re a liar,’ she said.

Be sure to go to Carrot Ranch to read the complete “Squeaky” collection from last week. And there’s always the Ranch Yarns with Kid and Pal’s responses HERE.

34 thoughts on “#99Word Stories; Lie

  1. Prefer version 1, largely because it doesn’t mention the drug by name.
    But I prefer the closing line to Version 2 over the closer in version 1. Liars don’t need to be told what they’ve lied about.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I prefer #1, though I would think no less of the #99 words if it was all I had. We get used to filling in the blanks. It’s interesting that some blanks left in the first were filled-in in the second. You do like to keep us on our toes.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Lies Collection « Carrot Ranch Literary Community

  4. You know, my first drafts are often more interesting -rythmically, perhaps- because I can play with words or add funny character quirks.

    Then, the murder of words begins… 😀 And, in your case and often in mine, I prefer the corpse.

    Of course, I think the exercise can also yield a happy medium.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Some family presents us with a challenge… those tunes to ‘Dare’ or ‘Double Dare’.
    But one needs to remember that each individual has a choice. The lies they tell themselves can outweigh any truths someone else tries to tell them.

    Your story is timeless. Could be from pulled from the headlines too. I worked with a gal who had three children from three guys… I think though she actually tried to be a good mother – especially with all the state assistance. But that’s another story…

    Liked by 1 person

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