The Carrot Ranch July 1, 2021, prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less), write a story about “the old photograph.” What is captivating about it? Where did it come from? How does it incite a story? Go where the prompt leads!
My first draft was 170 words and showed more the mother’s being stuck and the impact of the family dynamics on the mc. I enjoyed the challenge of whittling and hope the 99 words work.
Arrested Development
There was he and his brother, practically twins, astride their motorcycles, grinning widely. Ten years ago. Same old pictures; did any of them smile anymore?
“Will you ever update these photos?”
She ignored the edge in his voice.
“Your brother misses you.”
“Right.” But he went to his room.
“Hey, Bro. How about a picture of the two of us?”
The selfie showed his own face fuller but much the same, his hair thinning at the temples. His brother’s skin was tight and shiny, his open eyes vacant and unseeing. The breathing tube showed, the feeding tube did not.
ShiftnShake 
Oh no. Such a heartbreaking tale. Beautifully written
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Thank you.
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Ouch! I wasn’t expecting that.
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Sorry! And thanks for reading.
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Stunningly evocative, D. A mother’s anguish having effectively ‘lost’ one of her twins and the other twin’s battle with survivor guilt, all wrapped up with the possibility of him having ‘pulled the plug’ on his brother’s pointless existence. For once, I think the 99 word limit has not served you well here; I think there’s a far stronger and longer piece struggling to get out and I’d love to see it if and when you choose to do that. In it’s own way, your story has encouraged me in my first thoughts to go dark with this prompt.
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Couldn’t agree more Doug. Powerful piece she’s conjured here.
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The 99 word limit always serves me well in that it makes me revise and hone. But yes, this one fell out much longer and so chunks of story were cut out. And a bit more than what I had could yet be written in. There’s a dad, gone as silent as the invalid son. Here’s what happens. I get to 99 words and I’m done and end up chasing squirrels or fishing or mowing grass. I’m an incredibly lazy writer. But maybe I will work at finding the longer version of this, but I bet it’s not more than 300 words, maybe only 200. But my final 2-3 hundred words will be better shaped for having stuck to the 99 word limit for this version.
Dark happens, Doug, go where the prompt leads.
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No doubt true and welcome to the Incredibly Lazy Writers Club, who somehow have never actually managed to set up a meeting. 🙂
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Hard truths. (K)
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This story is heartbreaking, D. Was it a motorcycle accident?
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Could be, it was implied, but this is totally made up. Just fiction.
Thanks for coming by Buddy!
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Sad though.
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Yep, this one hits the guts. I enjoyed the ride of emotions though, despite the darkness. It all needs to be felt. It’s the only way growth happens. I can’t say much more than Doug did, his comment was spot on. Great writing D.
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Thank you Rebecca, I appreciate your comments. I’m always glad to know if a piece “works”.
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Most welcome, I understand that. And yes, this one did.
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The mother’s pain and the brother’s frustration described so well here
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Thank you. Glad t came through.
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This is terribly sad, Miss D. Beautifully done.
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Thank you Robbie.
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Dark and sad. Years ago I worked with someone who lost a son in a motorcycle accident and he never, in the time I worked with him, got over it.
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