Yikes! It’s been almost a month since I’ve been to the Poets’ Pub. On January 28, Peter from Australia had us considering beginnings, opening lines, as we versed. To meet the bar today Peter would have us “look to our middles and see if we can build in dramatic turns, open a new window”. Somehow I ended up wrestling with a started poem from January 2019 when Merril asked us “to consider time and space and what if?” for a Tuesday Poetics. I used the Biolet (a shorter version of the Triolet), a poem of 6 lines, typically of eight syllables each, rhyming ABbaBA and so structured that the first line recurs as the sixth and the second as the fifth. However I switched the rhyme pattern of the middle two lines so this Biolet is ABabBA. Why? In hopes to meet the bar a little better by changing the timing of the turn.
You search, track, it always eludes
slight impressions reveal its path
where it crept, grass swept dry of dew
lightly steps time, beyond your grasp
slight impressions reveal its path;
you search, track. It always eludes.
ha that elusive … snail, solution, sensation! Enjoyed the mystery in this
LikeLiked by 1 person
Time will tell if the mystery gets solved. Thank you for coming by.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love the way this inverted D! Crisply richly written.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. Yes, the form is an inversion which makes it easier and more challenging.
LikeLike
Interesting. Luv the shift of ” grass swept dry…”
Thank you for dropping by to read mine
Much💗love
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you.
LikeLike
Sounds like someone went jackalope hunting. Very deftly done, D.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, but surprisingly, I found that jackalope tastes like chicken.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike
These fixed forms are wonderful – and invite a turn, a shift, a window opening. Here that wonderful phrase ‘lightly steps time’ – and all that’s gone before shines in a different light – this isn’t about some varmint in the garden, it’s about our lives, our mortality, and elusiveness of meaning. Bravo.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you very much. You saw the step turn.
These forms are a fun puzzle. There really were only two lines where a turn would fit but then the repeating lines had to go with that turn.
Thank you for the prompt and the background on it. There’s a lot to learn at the Pub.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re so welcome (and I learned a lot just getting it together 🙂)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I really like this. I’m so fascinated by the concept of time (as you may have noticed). 🤣
I love your turn: “lightly steps time, beyond your grasp”
And then the punctuation in the last line. So well done!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am glad you like it, as I started it 2 years and a month ago for one of your prompts. Guess I lost track of time. Somehow with the middle prompt I knew it was time to relook at the false starts pile.
Thank you for your kind words (and your prompt and your patience)
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re very welcome!
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a great way to use a turn in this inverted form to show the frustration of seeking the unseekable: jackalope, wild goose, or gold at the end of the rainbow? Whatever we are searching for, the search itself can be enjoyable!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I do like repeating forms. This turns beautifully, in part because the first/last line is such a strong one. (K)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. That is the challenge of repeating forms; rearranging any lines that come and finding the fit, fitting the find.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Like a puzzle.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is gorgeously rendered! 🙂 The poem turns with such finesse that leaves a deep impact on the reader.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!
LikeLike
That turn of coming back to the elusive… an ouroberous walk down a path all the the time growing dryer
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks. Yeah, a snake eating tail tale.
LikeLike