The Usual; SixSentenceStory

Through the diner window Deborah watched the truck pull up, watched the familiar dismount, the tail end of an unfiltered Camel hitting the ground just prior to the vibram soles of greasy steel-toed work boots. She watched the bold long-legged approach across the parking lot, liking all 200 brawny pounds of what she saw. Already she had in the usual order, had it pinned on the line even before the purple-cabbed Peterbuilt had ceased squealing and hissing to a stop. Every two weeks, the same, though every two weeks the banter became increasingly serious, became conversation, and questions, increasingly potent.

This time Deborah was nervous like never before and glanced around, glad to see there were only two customers in the place, both distracted with their phones, not even looking up when the third driver strode in, beaming at the sight of her.

“Ellen, my bag is in the back; this time I will go with you.”

The prompt word is “filter“, the rules are to write a story in six sentences. The link up is HERE, thanks to our host Denise of GirlieOntheEdge. Author Anne Goodwin reminds us in a recent article that February is  LGBT+ History Month and can be acknowledged and celebrated through literature. Maybe that’s why this story went where it did. I just had the first line, then decided to reassign those boots.

31 thoughts on “The Usual; SixSentenceStory

  1. Excellent spin to the ending.*

    *a compliment, because doing a surprise ending, especially in a flash-format is not, imo, as easy as it looks. Five full sentenae to write as the set up is a long time (in Six territory) in which the ending can be tipped, or more likely, diminished by ‘playing it safe’.

    Liked by 1 person

    • So there I was, moping that I had nothing, no ideas for a Six, towel in hand, arm drawn back. Then this sentence came: “The tail end of an unfiltered Camel hit the ground just prior to the vibram soles of greasy steel-toed work boots.” And I wrote it, confident then that a story would follow. It took a minute. In that minute I chuckled because I wondered if I was channelling Sir Clark with taht sentence. Any way that’s my backstory to this Six Sentence Story.

      Liked by 1 person

      • That (“Tail end…) is the kind of sentence I hope/try/despair-of-writing-more-than-once to find every time I sit in front of the clickity-clacks.
        Look at it!

        Mystery: (‘Tail end of’ … of what??! an animal, a movie, a sequence of chess moves)
        Action: (‘hit the ground’ …running?! a failed parachute jump, the hopes of a bright future?)
        Backstory: (Camel (cigarette)… vibram soles …greasy steel-toed)

        Cue Wayne and Garth!

        Liked by 1 person

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