Horn Blowin
“Shorty’s on ‘bout uni-corns agin. “
“Shorty’s crazy ‘bout uni-corns.”
“I ’member the second uni-corn prompt, February 22, 2018. Was you ‘roun fer the first, June 4, 2014?”
“Course I was ‘roun the Ranch. Jist didn’t know it yet. Kin tell ya thet was Shorty’s 100th Carrot Ranch post ‘an her 14th 99 word challenge. If’n ya read thet post you’ll see how steady she’s been all these years. ‘Ceptin’ fer the uni-corn thing. She suggested, ‘snap the halters off our inner unicorns’. Hmmf.”
“Well, Pal, it don’t git more free range ‘an that. Mebbe uni-corns ain’t so crazy.”
At Carrot Ranch, the April 16, 2020, prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less), write a story about something crazy. Laugh like crazy, show the setting of stir-crazy or go off the rails on a crazy train. Have fun with the word and the situation, but go where the prompt leads! (Respond by April 21)
The prompt seems to be working for my yahoo characters better than for me. So indulge them if you will for four sequenced Ranch Yarns, each 99 words, no more, no less..
Crazy Shift (Like Craft Cider, Comes in a 4-Pac)
“Aw, shift, Kid, what’re ya up to?”
“Been thinkin’, Pal.”
“Uh-oh.”
“Thinkin’ Head Quarters should reflect the Ranch an’ vice versa. I’m fixin’ on how ta fix hosses inta uni-corns. Ya’d think it’d be an easy thing ta git toilet paper tubes…”
“Kid, ya cain’t jist braid tubes onta the forelock an’ call thet a horn. Ya gotta look it the hoss’s genes.”
“Yer stir crazy. Hosses don’t wear jeans. Oh! Genes. Reckon I could start by s’lectin’ the hosses got stars on their foreheads.”
“Blazes no, Kid. Ya gotta look fer the ones got stars in their eyes.”
###
“Gonna send Pepe back up ta HQ, ta utilize his connections ta the universities. Thinkin’ there’s some nerds with time on their hands could do some genetic engineerin’ fer this uni-corn project.”
“Kid, they’s all workin’ on more practical things than horned hosses. Anyways, Pepe’s out there scratchin’ his head, eyein’ the groun.’”
“Huh… Pepe!”
“Keed, look. Dees ees not farfennugen.”
“No, too big. Are they skittles?”
“Dees ees too beeg to be Skeetles. Ees size of horse poop, but colors of da rainbow. Keed… dees ees unicorn excrement!”
“You mean?”
“Oui! Dere ees a unicorn on Carrot Ranch!”
###
“Let’s hit the trail! Why, if we kin find this uni-corn we’ll… we’ll… uh, Pal, some hep here?”
“Hep yersef. Jist what will ya do if’n ya track down thet uni-corn?”
“Reckon I’d rope it.”
“Uh-huh. Then whut?”
“Well, guess I’d lead it back ta the Ranch. Corral it.”
“Uh-huh. Or git it inta a stall. Think it’d be happy, roped an’ corralled?”
“Not at first. But…”
“But what? You gonna tame it?”
“Yeah. Tame it an’ train it. Till it’s—”
“Docile as any old plug?”
“Um…”
“Some things cain’t never be undone, Kid.”
“I’ll leave it be.”
###
“Pal! I have foun’ the true power a uni-corns!”
“Shift! Kid I thought you was gonna leave thet animal alone!”
“I am, Pal. In fact Pepe an’ me been goin’ roun’ gatherin’ up any rainbow colored droppin’s so’s to protect it. I been takin’ the uni-corn manure out ta ma little off-shoot Poet Tree behind the Saddle Up Saloon. An’ that tree is growin’! I’ll be climbin’ out on a limb in no time.”
“Ya been outta yer tree fer a while. We kin all use some buckaroo-ku these days, Kid.”
“Okay, Pal.”
among friends
gathering rainbows
crazy shift
You make me laugh. I know it wasn’t mentioned here, but I’ve been thinking of the young Navy personnel reading your Chicken Shift book. I’m sure it would be a regular source of conversation as it made its way through the members on a big ship.
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Today is the day they were to be commissioned. I wonder, what with so many disruptions to best laid plans… I’ve been thinking of them too.
One can only hope people enjoy what one has written. I inscribed the book with a one-off just for them chicken poem. Something about Chicken of the Sea… Thanks for coming by, Susan. These yahoos were pretty chatty today.
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They’re off, but without the public ceremony.
https://navalnews.net/u-s-navy-commissions-uss-vermont/
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May they travel safe and well.
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The adventure is always near with this crew! Crazy shift indeed.
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Ha. Crazy is as crazy does and there’s not much crazier than them
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Not much crazier, though there might be a couple of blokes come close. See you soon at the Saddle Up Saloon!
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That crazy rainbow poo is bound to be worth a fortune. Might even hold a cure for some of the dust blowing out from other places round the world. I’d be keeping it if I was you.
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There is a bit of a surprise ending to all this at Carrot Ranch in the comments there. Things aren’t always what they seem, or maybe they are what they seem. Seems Frankie has just ridden through on Bert.
I am meaning to go to ReadiLearn and read a post that the original unicorn prompt prompted, an extensive musing on Fairy Tales. I will report back to you, Teach!
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I haven’t dug deep enough for the suprise. I don’t think you’ll find what you’re looking for at readilearn either. 🙂
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But I did find so much good stuff at readilearn.
https://norahcolvin.com/2014/06/11/of-rainbows-and-unicorns-part-2-do-fairy-tales-and-fantasy-still-have-a-place-for-children/
Perhaps we could discuss it further at the Saddle Up. I’ll have my people call your people.
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Yeah, ceptin that’s just lil ol’ me – not readilearn, but I guess readilearn is just another iteration.
Thanks for the invitation to the Saddle Up. I’d love to join in but really don’t have a spare minute at the moment. I’ll let you know when I’m back with freedom to roam the range – or, um, ranch. 🙂
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