Reaching Six sentence story time

six sentence story
While I would never question the authority of our host Denise regarding Six Sentence Stories, I would bend the rules. The following is a 12 pack, which for the math challenged is two groups of six sentences. I justify this by including last week’s word, “epic”, as if that makes up for my missing last week. This week’s word is “reach”, to be included in a six sentence story, no more, no less… Go to GirlieOntheEdge to play.
These characters you may recall. Episodes emerge haphazardly. Some are somewhat sequenced on the Ernest & Marge page.    

 

Reaching

Ilene and Lloyd joined the others for the briefing in Ernest’s singlewide where Nard reported that in all his years with Marge, he’d seen her cranky, but never in a mood, never like this.

“She’s in her she-shed,” Ernest updated, “Again; says she’s working on her sculptures but then nothing happens, no hammering, no welding— hell, she doesn’t even drink beer out there.”

The three men watched Ilene make her way down the trailer steps, the globed porch light a miniature moon sending her shadow lurching ahead of her on her epic trek across the Zen garden to the unlit she-shed, clutching a beer in each hand, just in case.

Ilene approached the she-shed with a bold caution, chattered loudly to herald her arrival, lest she startle Marge, spoke out loud, ‘Okay, I’m opening the door now’ as she slid the pocket door into its wall.

“No shit, Ilene, I can see that and how else would you invade my personal private she-shed space but through that door.”

“Jeezus, Marge, where in hell’s the light switch, there, now what’s going on, why are you being a cave bear, your clan misses you.”

Despite the warnings, Ilene was shocked to find Marge sitting in the dark, her welders mask pulled low over her face.

“Marge, what’s going on, you aren’t still being a jittery bride to be are you?”

Marge’s responses to Ilene’s questions were rendered even more monotone through her welders mask, which she, a known non-hugger, kept on as she endured the hug Ilene insisted on giving her.

Because of their size difference the hug was at first awkward for both of them, but Ilene turned her head, some of her piled hair twisting up under the welders mask and tickling Marge’s chin, but Ilene held on, pressed into her friend, reached around her as far as she could and squeezed her as tight as she could, told her she was enveloping her with love, told Marge she’d squeeze all the doubt right out of her; Ilene did not let go of her friend, not until Marge ripped a loud fart.

Then the two separated, laughed until they cried, Marge at last removing her welders mask so she could wipe her eyes; then the two drank Ilene’s beers in amicable silence, before she suggested they go back inside; “Ernest has more.”

“I know,” and Marge left her mask behind, led the way back to the steps under the pagoda style awning, returned to Ernest without a doubt.

20 thoughts on “Reaching Six sentence story time

  1. Pingback: neelwrites/flash/fiction/shortstory/15/01/2020 – neelwritesblog

  2. (uh oh, clark’s getting all term papery on the commentation. Dude put half the effort into school back when it was actually happening, none of this’d be necessary)

    ok, liked your post (Dispatch, we got a maverick, exceeding the speed limit south on the Hades Turnpike, come in, dispatch…)

    But since I’m still in hurry-up-learn-this-stuff mode, I need to take a moment and cite some of what I believe are examples of excellent story-telling (technique/craft/whatever)

    “…approached the she-shed with a bold caution, chattered loudly to herald her arrival, lest she startle Marge.””
    Setting up the new scene, leaving behind the opening… re-framing the action? (Just because I stick a question mark on the end, doesn’t mean I’m not totally confident in my assessment…. lol yeah, right)

    “…being a cave bear, your clan misses you.”.
    “I know!! I know!! Thats a literary allusion!*

    “…her welders mask, which she, a known non-hugger, kept on as she endured the hug
    Show-fricken-not-even-close-to-mere-Tell. I think I see some of what I’m reading in my Deep POV sites

    I enjoyed this illicit Six, this week.

    lol

    * yes, in the interest of dull disclosure, I did look it up… nobody said this wasn’t an open book test lol

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for your term paper. I ain’t studied this stuff since high school neither. (I do know there’s a lot wrong with that previous sentence)
      I think at this point I’d rather not study writing, but sure am having fun trying it out here and there every (almost) week. The constraints are what helps me the most I think, having to fit an initial idea into an exact count of either words or sentences, without taking too many grammatical liberties to fit within the constraints. (I do stretch it a bit with Six Sentences, that is some of the sentences are stretched) I recommend reading, not so much about writing but just reading writing that’s well writ. But what do I know? Not much. I just let these characters have their way. They amuse me. I am very glad if others are also amused by them.

      Like

      • Yeah, talk about buzz kills!

        That said, every few time periods, I’ll follow a google-trail towards writing techniques or, perhaps a specific topic; I try to do this when I know I will not have the opportunity to write for the next week or so.

        (lol) Talk about a new appreciation of the parental favorite, ‘ a little knowledge is a dangerous thing’

        But time heals all insecurities (or, failing that, establishes them as character traits) and I get back to the writing thing, hopefully with a better sense of technique.

        I kid with these ‘term paper’ comments, but they very much represent my reading in order to improve my writing. Here with at the Six Sentence Story, I know your characters and the story form (or whatever the correct term is) is clear, short…short.
        As we’ve all read countless times, it’s the characters that make the story, not the rocket ships, love scenes or knitting tropes. So I feel comfortable trying to figure out how you (and the other Sixarians) accomplish your rhetorical effects.

        Totally with you on the ‘characters tell the story’.

        My own Six, this week, provides (or curses me) with characters who demand a time era of their own. Coincidently, and I may come to regret it, the Hobbomock Chronicles are premised on time travel. Our un-named woman and Captain Hugh Broadmore* are bound to become characters in a tale that informs Readers of the history of Hobbomock and the culture of the Narragansetts at the time of Roger Williams and them.
        as they said in Pulp Fiction. ‘…to be continued’

        *apparently, that was his name

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