Not here.
Not today,
not tomorrow;
there’s no more safe haven.
Dreams die.
You know
ugly truths
under myths’ cloaks.
Were there ever havens?
We’ve lied.
All hopes wither with yours
deprived.
For awhile I have been meaning to try out “cinqku”, a form that Kat Myrman has been using quite effectively at like mercury colliding. This is not that five line form. This poem does have two sets of five lines with the cinqku 2,3,4,6,2 syllable count, followed by two final lines of 6 and 2 syllables. I fudged it, in form and function, all so that I cold make the 32 word count for Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt challenge using the word “haven“.
The form works real well. Like it.
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Thanks. I think any time you have to count anything- sentences, words, syllables- the end result is improved for the choices that have to be made, it’s done more thoughtfully. Kat is always trying some interesting syllabic forms, and while I was not true to form here, it was the jump start I needed and forced me to be mindful.
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I admire those who do, but I don’t have the discipline. It’s not my main thing, I suppose.
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It’s a fun occasional exercise. I’m not too strict about anything, obviously. Which is probably why constraints seem to be good for me.
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🙂
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You fudged it well. Who says you can’t come up with something original? No one.
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Utilised my poetic license and used Kat’s form as a starter.
I don’t like the message of this but it’s where the prompt led.
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Dear D,
Nicely written, although I little despairing. Going to jump into my haven and swim a few laps now. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I imagined this as a message to some poor soul at the border. It is despairing. But we all must keep swimming, and maybe tossing some lifelines.
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Well said, D. I wholeheartedly agree.
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Just because we know our allegories aren’t real doesn’t mean the don’t contain truths. As to havens…we each must find our own. But none will keep death away. (K)
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Ain’t that the truth!
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Not the happiest of messages but you’ve delivered it skillfully!
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Thank you.
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I didn’t notice the form or the miss you mentioned. The message was enthralling. Really nicely done! 🙂
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Well thank you, I am very pleased if you like this.
I used the syllable count of cinqku until I got to the word count for the prompt, so 12 lines instead of five, and the topic and assonance seems a stray. But I sure liked the challenge of puzzling together that form with the word count.
Thank you for the inspiration. I learn a lot from your work.
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Thank you for saying so. Have a wonderful week! 😊
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