Misspoke and Miss Placed

 Following are four Ernest & Marge episodes, each in 99 words. The first is a rewrite from  the March 14th Carrot Ranch flash fiction challenge. This version ends differently. It is followed by back to back responses for this week’s prompt from the ranch, “eminence”. Finally there is a 99 word, six sentence flash that includes the March 27th Six Sentence Story prompt, “place”. The scene that precipitated these four flashes was a six sentence story from March 12th. See Ernest & Marge  and friends all together HERE.

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“Jeez, Marge, you’re turning the trailer upside down these days.”

“It’s in need of a good spring cleaning, Ernest.”

“With a hammer and chisel?”

“Ending the ice age in your freezer.”

“I’ve been meaning to deal with that. Guess I move at glacial speed.”

“Ha, so funny.” With a geologist’s eye Marge placed the chisel and hammered out great chunks of hoary frozen food, while Ernest looked on. A sliver of ice landed right on Ernest’s chin, bruised from Marge’s welding mask.

“Em, Marge, you’ve been kind of manic lately.”

“Why would I be mad, Ernest?”

“Sorry. I misspoke.”

***

“What? Her Eminence drinking alone? Where’s Ernest?”

“Can’t I be somewhere where Ernest isn’t, Nard? Like you should talk. Where’s Kris?”

“Visiting his mother. I just couldn’t.”

“Yeah.”

“Hey, Lloyd tells me Ernest gave you a ring.”

“Yeah.”

“Thought you gals were supposed to be all giddy at a time like this.”

“Ernest’s giddy enough for the both of us. Driving me nuts.”

“Am I a peckerhead for being glad Kris is gone for a couple days?”

“Not if you’re looking forward to him coming back.”

“I am.”

“We’ll have to get used to being happy, huh, Nard?”

“Yep.”

***

“We’re not drunk, Marge, but it’s eminent.”

“Imminent.”

“You’re eminent drinkers,” quipped the bartender. “You two walking?”

“I’ll walk Her Eminence home, if I can sleep on her couch.”

“I don’t need you to walk me home, Nard.”

“Tough Marge, can walk in the dark by herself. Doesn’t need anyone. Big tough Marge runnin’ the shop, givin’ orders. Used to think you was gay, ya know that?”

“I know you are, but what am I?”

“Ha!”

Marge could have called Ernest, reliable Ernest. Instead she walked with her friend and talked drunkenly of old times and of times ahead.

***

“I’m back from my walk, and look who I found, my old peckerhead friend Nard, he’s kinda drunk so he’s gonna sleep on the couch.”

It was obvious to Ernest that Nard wasn’t the only one who was drunk, but he was glad to have Marge in a better mood than when she’d left.

“We’ve been talking. Me and Nard, not me and you, and we think if we’re going to be married, me and you, not me and Nard, that marriage… yeah- Nard’s gonna help build a man-cave.”

“I don’t want a man-cave.”

“It’ll be my place, Ernest.”

***