Squall Line

She could batten the hatches, weather this one out; these storms never lasted more than three days.

Somehow they always managed to arrive within moments of each other.

Three cars’ worth of doors flung open at once, spilling grandchildren who swirled behind their parents, the mass of them a single squall line bearing down, gusting through the front door without so much as a knock, her daughters’ smiles flashing like lightning.

The men and children retreated to the beach while her daughters assaulted her home, dusting, scrubbing; organizing her cupboards.

The aftermath was always erosion. She was losing ground.

*****

This is a second take on the Carrot Ranch May 3rd prompt , 99 words (no more, no less) using a line in the story. It is also six sentences with the word “single”. Check out both sites to see more takes on these prompts, or leave a story of your own.

six sentence story.jpg                  rwr-1.png

24 thoughts on “Squall Line

  1. I love your storm metaphor, in particular, the 3rd sentence.
    You leave me wondering….is this an older (aging) woman? The erosion perhaps referring to her losing ground in her fight to remain independent?
    Very well written and for me a bit sad.
    Good 6 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, an older woman who has to defend her aging self and aging home to the overbearing scrutiny of her daughters.
      Maybe Earnest and Marge should befriend her… Marge can handle those women.
      Thanks for coming by, I was late again this week, wasn’t sure I had six in me.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Ha! You filled in all the blanks, there is no description of the house; I even edited out the term “summer house” but was imagining a Cape Cod sort of a cottage. Not sure if those western cowpokes at Carrot Ranch could fill in so many blanks for a beach house… you should don your denim overalls and t-rusty banjo and have a look see over there.

    Like

  3. This is a great piece. There is such joy in the beginning, and yet the use of squall line lets us know that this is an incoming storm. As the six progresses, we find that undertow of sadness, the slipping away of control she feels as her children take over. How sad it must be to feel that way as one ages. Well done. I’ll hop over to the Ranch to see that version as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is such a well written SSS. I could feel the energy of those daughters as they began to clean and put things in order, but could also sense the concern of mother as she tried to brace for the storm. Thank goodness that the men and children retreated to the beach. I hope the mother can find things after they have be reorganized.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: Lines « Carrot Ranch Literary Community

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