Falling Up

On the other side of the window, five stories up, snow fell, snow flew, snow blew in all directions, absolutely silent; inside this room they were all figures in a snow-globe. Her bedroom had transformed into her hospice room, crowded and cluttered with medical apparatus, myriad pills, and an inevitable yet still uncertain end; none of them had been here before. While the other figures did laundry, bandage prep, medication checks, she slept, some one always beside her, holding her hand, ready to comfort her when she returned to unsettled wakefulness. The ventilator pulsed time.

When the snow did stop, the night became clear and cold, the sky sparkling like a field of sunlit snow, so many stars that to stare up at them was like being in a snow-globe, mesmerizing and oddly comforting. Through a lens of tears one figure thought she saw a falling star, falling up, so bright, so distant.




Written for Ivy’s Six Sentence Story prompt at Uncharted.


This week’s cue is STAR.

14 thoughts on “Falling Up

  1. I love the imagery in this D. but I agree with you your 99 word version is better and consequently has more impact on the reader. Both, however. are wonderful stories. Just as an aside you have made me very happy with your use of ventilator which is the correct term – it is one of my pet hates to see the term respirator used instead so it thrilled me to see you use the correct term here. Silly I know but we all have to have one pet hate. Happy New Year.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. So close to a reality several years ago when my MIL finally took her last breath, around this time.
    I’d like to think her room was engulfed in love as most of us stayed for as long as we could…
    but it was the second time (for me) that a love one chose to pass without anyone present.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I read your response on the Carrot Ranch page and came here for the extended version and I agree with you about liking the shorter version better. The snow globe imagery gives the piece an almost magical feel and adding in all the medical stuff took that away for me.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Pingback: A Wishing Star « Carrot Ranch Literary Community

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