Offerings

The curtain snaps against the breeze in the open window. Triumphant flapping and clucking of Hope’s favorite hen heralds its daily escape.

She listens to comfortable thuds and thumps as he prepares breakfast. Brewing coffee rumbles a baseline to the robins’ chirping. The last stair-tread squeaks as Hope joins her father. Both quiet and reserved, in the mornings together they are quite talkative, sharing observations from the farm or surrounding woods, their voices rolling soft like the round-rocked brook.

Unconsciously they interpret morning sighs. They bring her coffee, their tentative daily offering, worry they might rouse her to flight.

 

For Carrot Ranch, August 3, 2017 prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less) use sound to create a story. Just as you might “see” a scene unfold, think about how it might sound. Even one sound to set the tone is okay. Go where you hear the prompt lead. Feel free to experiment.

16 thoughts on “Offerings

  1. You sure fitted a lot of sounds in there! I love this: “their voices rolling soft like the round-rocked brook.” and understand their that they may cause her to once again take flight. Lovely the way you have continued Hope’s story. She’s obviously growing up. Will Mum stay or go?

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank you for coming by and commenting. Some day I will learn to slow down revise before posting at the ranch… maybe. I generally love morning sounds, when they are still muted by lingering darkness, even as they are amplified by coming dawn. Last night I was reading Marilynne Robinson’s “Housekeeping” and wow did she have some sound writing going on. But morning sounds were not enjoyed by her characters, they were bad news. Her birds were warning not celebrating.
      Loved your flash, by the way.

      Liked by 3 people

  2. Beautiful flash. How sounds reverberate in the underlying silence of the country. You evoked the scene so viscerally with the morning sounds. And then that insertion of the insecurity and tentativeness of the calm with that last line.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I was surprised by the way I felt resentful this time! It’s this beautiful scene, this wonderful life they can all share together and yet, no pun intended, they have to walk on eggshells around mom. Better that she goes than she leaves them worrying that she might. Beautiful writing, D. in both the language and the story development.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Boss. Your comment is powerful to me in that you are into these characters enough to feel resentment. I am not sure I am as invested as you are! Just trying to fill a flash… But as this series comes along, I do know that he is the better off one, with his homestead and his strong, grounded relationship with the daughter. How old is she here, anyway? (I can’t be sure, I only have a cat, and her part time.)

      Like

  4. Pingback: Pages of Sound « Carrot Ranch Literary Community

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  6. Domestic sounds entwined with natures, all just blew me away. However as a newbie to the ranch I feel as though I am intruding, based on the other folks comments. Not sure whether the flash is based on fiction, story you’ve been telling over time, or if it is based on real-life,.. beautiful un every respect and took me to another place.

    tales
    of woe
    lost soles grieving
    I pray they find
    respite
    © Mick E Talbot 2017/66

    Liked by 1 person

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