From Zoe, this week’s cue is SHAKE.
six sentences, any genre
This one is a follow up to Well Wishing from a couple weeks ago.
Shaken, D. Avery
Rushing from their beds to the front porch, standing in water up over their knees, they were shaken not just by the unfathomable water, but also by the silence, by the absolute absence of birdsong, of breezes rustling grasses and leaves, of any sound, save themselves. Except for the steady rise of water, all was still; even the spread of dawn’s light had stopped, arrested low on the tree topped horizon.
“How can this be?,” he queried, scanning in vain for the car, though it clearly would offer no escape.
They looked at each other with a hope of relief when the water, up to their waists now as they clung to the porch posts, seemed to cease its rising. Then they felt a shaking, a profound tremor, and the water pulled at them like a rushing tide that swept them off the porch and swirling helplessly into a whirlpool that finally disappeared into the old well, now visible in the wet and matted yard. At the end of the rutted lane, beyond the dripping car, the for sale sign that they had neglected to remove listed in the sodden ground.
Cool and creepy!
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I’m glad you think so. Make sure to read Well Wishing a couple of posts down.
Thank you for coming by, I do appreciate the visit.
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Good one, creepy
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Yes, thanks. It’s a follow up to “Well Wishing”. When I wrote that I wasn’t sure how it might end. Then with this week’s cue, I knew. I just sent everyone back down that sinister well. Done. For now…
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Very frightening, whatever was down that well didn’t want them living there.
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Yeah. Still, darned if I know. I just went with creepy. I have no explanation.
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I felt the hopelessness of the situation. The sad remnants of destruction. Powerful story.
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Thank you for your powerful comment.
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“…even the spread of dawn’s light had stopped, arrested low on the tree topped horizon.”
Very cool line. Nice imagery, great energy.
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Thanks. Thanks for coming by. Isn’t it fun to try and get the job done with an allotment of sentences?
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Wow, an unexpected conclusion! And now one cannot help but wonder if this property is perpetually “for sale”, and the original owners didn’t want anyone moving in!
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Yes, the for sale at the end brought it full circle. Or left it open…
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Oh wow, now you have me wondering about the original owners… hmmm….
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Very good . You created an atmosphere of tension. Well done.
gramswisewords.blogspot.com
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Thank you. Thanks for coming by.
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